This one gets me every time I go to a movie. The movie lets out, a stream of men queue up in the men’s room, and by the time I get my bladder emptied and arrive at the sink, it looks like New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina.
So let’s bring Leave No Trace principles to the restroom, gentlemen, with these simple guidelines.
- At the urinal, you face a tough decision: Don’t flush and conserve water, or flush and be gentlemanly. I feel there’s room for discretion here. If it’s a fancy place, flush. If it’s a ballpark or movie theater or sports bar, and guys are lined up, give the Earth a boost and leave it.
- No decisions at the sink. Splash as little as possible. Use soap. Actually wash your hands. This is not for show.
- Take no more than two towels. Start with one, and if you need another, take another. You don’t need eight. You just don’t.
- Now the tough one: Use the paper towel with which you dried your hands to wipe off the countertop. It takes less than two seconds, and if everyone does it, it will only take the one towel. Of course, everyone doesn’t do it, so that’s why you need to be the one who does.
- Finally, throw the towel in the trash. Not on the counter. Not on the floor. Not NEAR the trash. Make sure it goes in. If you miss, get your own rebound and finish, even if it means bending over a little. The thing that separates us from the great apes is at stake here.
Have your own thoughts? Please let me have it.
But don’t bother to write if your message is a variation on “that’s somebody else’s job.” If you haven’t evolved beyond that mentality, you shouldn’t be using writing implements.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I think you have shown that this process is simple and necessary. Thank you for the breakdown. Hopefully, no one will want to be in the ape category and will do as you suggest.
Thanks for the note, Cathrine. I’m sure you’ll vouch for my non-apeness around the house, in case anyone questions my commitment to my principles.
Thanks Ed, however you didn’t touch on a few much needed clarifications. The mighty toilet seat. Does it get left up after the man uses it, and if it is to be left up, both seats in preparation for the next use (by a male), or anticipate the ladies needs and leave the top up, while the seat is lowered for her convenience? And how is the toilet paper roll to be installed on the roller, rolling from the top, or bottom. I personally like it rolling from off the top, when you give it a good quick tug, you get 20-30 squares folding neatly around your lap like a soft blanket ready to be your wooby. I miss my wooby.
Good points, Jay, and, in fact, those are already on my list of future topics. Here’s a preview: I agree with you about the TP roll, but don’t see a clear moral imperative for either approach. The toilet seat debate, however, is currently being subjected to a rigorous statistical analysis, and I anticipate the results will surprise quite a few people. Stay tuned!